I remember being in speech therapy as a young adult. Occasionally I'd have some homework, something like "call a store or restaurant and ask what time they close." The goal of these therapy sessions was to reduce the fear of using the phone. (And probably also to actually find out what time the store closed.)
Using the phone is tricky. When you're talking to a person face-to-face, you can get away with some of the blocking and stammering by using hand gestures. Body language accounts for a lot of the actual discussion. But on the flip side, when you're using the phone, nobody can see the secondary characteristics of stuttering - the other person can't see the clinched eyes, the mouth in the shape of the sound you're trying to make, etc. But you're depending on your speech.
Some other days I'd go to mall or somewhere similar with my therapist, and she'd give me an assignment. It would be something like: Go ask that person where the Gap is. Or go ask the person at the coffee counter what the special of the day is. The goal wasn't to speak with a 100% fluency rate; the goal was just to get the result.
I bring this up because I recently read some other blogs where people who stutter said they've basically taken jobs that don't require them to speak, for fear of having to talk (and stutter) in front of other people. I guess this is common. But to that I say: hogwash!
When I was a freshman in college, I had a job as a waiter at Bennigan's for the summer. Being a waiter is probably not considered a job that generally makes people anxious or nervous, but when you stutter and have to introduce yourself to random strangers for 8 hours a day, the thought of it is a little harrowing.
But that's just the thing: being a waiter forced me to get up in front of people and speak. It forced me to introduced myself, which is one of the hardest things for me to do. And since my tips depended on me providing excellent service, it required me to not suck at it.
Stutterers have rent to pay, too, you know!
At first I was terrified. I only got the job because I had been a bus boy at Bennigan's the year before, and I knew the manager. But the thought of talking in front of so many people scared the living daylights out of me.
But it was great! Every table required its own little performance, and I had a lot of fun putting on a show. The speaking part could be challenging at times, but there were even more challenging tasks - like not spilling drinks on anybody while serving tables!
(I only spilled drinks on one person, but I spilled a drink on him on two separate occasions. On the bright side, he got a free meal out of it.)
I'm definitely not cured of my fear of introducing myself to strangers, but I'm a lot more confident in my ability to do so now that I've had the experience of introducing myself a thousand times. Which is the point of all the "What time do you close?" phone calls that my therapist had me do. Practice makes perfect, right?
Besides learning to not be so scared to death of talking in front of other people, I also learned some actual great lifelong tips. I learned of "Lombardi Time" - where if you're 15 minutes early then you're on time, and if you're on time then you're late. I also learned how to sing the Bennigan's birthday song, which I still sing to all of my fellow coworkers on their birthdays.
So for those of you who stutter, who feel like you need a job where you don't have to speak, I'll leave you with two thoughts:
1. Jobs that don't require speaking usually suck (unless you're writing or programming computers, in which case, rock on!); and
2. Your homework this week is to challenge yourself by speaking to people for no good reason whatsoever. Who cares if the special of the day is written on a blackboard sitting at the foot of the reservations desk? Ask the waiter anyway!
Who knows, your waiter might be more scared of talking to you than you are of him.
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